‘Part of my very being’: B.C. liver recipient meets donor’s mother

It was Valentine’s Day when Holly Warner met the man whose life was saved by one of her son’s organs.

Benjamin Warner, 37, tragically died from a drug overdose in August 2024 and Holly said they were not surprised to learn their loving and lively son was an organ donor.

“It was his liver and his kidneys,” she told Global News.

Ben saved three lives — one of them being Mark Hofeling.

In July 2023, Hofeling went to the emergency room, only to learn he had stage 3 cirrhosis of the liver.

“My only hope for recovery was transplant,” he said.

“That was a pretty tough thing for me and my husband to wrap our head around.”

He spent the next year qualifying to be on the transplant list and then was told it can take about a year to get the call, but his came three weeks later.

“I’d never had surgery and had what turned out to be a pretty difficult 10 hour surgery, I lost a lot of blood,” Hofeling said.

However, he said when he left the hospital 11 days later, he already felt so much better than when he was walking in.

It has now been 19 months since his operation.

He decided to write a letter to his donor’s family to say thank you and through BC Transplant, he was able to send an anonymous letter.

“I had gone from essentially death’s door to feeling better than I ever could remember feeling in my life in three weeks,” Hofeling said.

“That’s pretty jarring.”

He said he knew his new liver was a gift.

“Having experienced this miracle felt like a huge responsibility,” Hofeling added.

Warner said the letter came a week before her son’s memorial and she said it came at the right time as she was struggling to grieve.

“I knew I had to respond, I had to write a letter back and I knew I had to meet this man,” Warner said.

After 12 months, Hofeling wanted to write another letter and describe what the past year has been like for him and his family and how much he appreciated the gift.

Shortly after, Hofeling got a call from BC Transplant that there was a letter for him.

“It is still one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever read.”

Then, finally, the two met in person.

“Meeting Holly, Ben’s mother, and meeting Courtenay, his big sister, was really as powerful a moment as getting the call, as waking up on the other side of the surgery knowing my life had been restored,” Hofeling said.

“That was one of the most important events I’ve ever experienced.

“I don’t think I realized how unsettled my spirit was by this mystery, by the enigma of this very odd relationship I had developed with a family I didn’t know and a human being that was now part of my very being.”

Hofeling said he got to learn about Ben, and who he was, which has helped his healing journey.

“I now live in a much more peaceful place and I now have a friendship and a kinship that I have with Ben’s family that I wouldn’t trade for anything in the world,” he added.

Warner said it helps keep the memory of her son alive.

“It keeps Ben’s memory alive,” she said. “Mark has a part of him and I just feel that we have a connection.”

Anyone can register their decision on organ donation at registeryourdecision.ca. All you need is your Personal Health Number.

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